Paramis

A Basic Safety Guide

Fifteen things you can do this spring to make yourself harder to fool, harder to track, and harder to scam. Pick what you can. Skip what you cannot. Come back when you are ready for more.

If you attended a recent talk, this is the page I promised. If you did not, welcome. Everything below is the same guidance, written so you can do it at your own kitchen table.

The guide is organized into five rows, the way you would plant a spring garden. Each row has three things to plant, ranked by difficulty. A marigold is easy: no technical skill, no cost, usually under ten minutes. A tomato takes some work. An asparagus is harder or costs money, but pays for years. You do not have to plant all fifteen. If you plant one from each row, you are ahead of almost everyone your age.

This page prints cleanly. There is a button at the bottom for it.

The Five Rows ↓
Row 1

Your Identity

Who you are online. The row to start with, because it is the one that feels most personal and the marigold is free.

🌼
Marigold · Easy

Pick a word only your family knows

AI can clone a voice from a three-second clip pulled off Instagram or a voicemail. It cannot guess a word that only lives in your family's memory. This is the cheapest, most effective defense against the "grandchild in trouble" scam, and you can do it tonight.

How to do it
  1. At dinner tonight, pick one word together. Something specific (a pet's middle name, a made-up word). Not "password" or "apple."
  2. Tell everyone in the family who might get a panicked phone call about you: spouse, kids, grandkids, siblings.
  3. The rule: if anyone calls claiming to be family in trouble and asks for money or information, you ask for the word. No word, no money.
  4. Do not write it down in email or text. Say it out loud, in person.
Time: 5 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: None
🍅
Tomato · Some Work

Freeze your credit at all three bureaus

A credit freeze stops anyone (including scammers with your stolen data) from opening new accounts in your name without your permission. It is free and reversible. When you actually need to apply for something yourself, you "thaw" it temporarily.

How to do it
  1. Equifax: go to equifax.com/personal/credit-report-services/credit-freeze and click "Place a freeze." Create an account.
  2. Experian: go to experian.com/freeze. Same process.
  3. TransUnion: go to transunion.com/credit-freeze. Same process.
  4. Each bureau gives you a PIN. Save all three somewhere safe. You will need them to thaw.
Time: ~30 minutes (10 per bureau) Cost: Free (since 2018) Account needed: One per bureau
🥬
Asparagus · Harder

Pay a service to scrub you from data broker sites

Data brokers sell your address, phone number, relatives, and more to anyone who asks. That is how a scammer knows to call you pretending to be the local sheriff. Opting out of every broker by hand takes days. A service does it for you on a schedule, because brokers re-add you every few months.

How to do it
  1. Go to joindeleteme.com (or a similar service like Kanary or Optery).
  2. Create an account and enter your basic info: name, address, email, date of birth.
  3. Choose a plan. DeleteMe individual is about $129 per year.
  4. They handle the opt-outs. You get a report every few months showing where you were found and what was removed.
Time: 20 minutes to set up Cost: ~$129/year Account needed: Yes
Row 2

Your Home

Your house is full of internet-connected microphones and devices you forgot you installed. This row is about putting them in their place.

🌼
Marigold · Easy

Review what your smart speakers have heard

Smart speakers keep a log of everything they recorded, including the times they "woke up" when nobody said the wake word. Looking at that log once is how you make informed decisions about where they live in your house. Most people find at least one recording they did not expect.

Alexa (Echo devices)
  1. Open the Alexa app. Tap More (bottom right) then Settings then Alexa Privacy then Review Voice History.
  2. Filter by date. Play back anything you do not recognize.
  3. Tap "Delete All Recordings for All History" to clear the log.
  4. Back in Alexa Privacy, turn on "Don't save recordings" to stop the logging going forward.
Google Home / Nest
  1. Go to myactivity.google.com and sign in.
  2. Click Web & App Activity. Recordings have a microphone icon.
  3. Turn off "Include voice and audio activity."
  4. Set auto-delete to 3 months and forget about it.
Siri (iPhone, iPad, HomePod)

Apple does not let you browse your Siri history the way Google and Amazon do. There is no playback, no transcript log. You can only delete everything at once and turn off future collection.

  1. On iPhone: Settings then Siri & Search then Siri & Dictation History then Delete Siri & Dictation History.
  2. Settings then Privacy & Security then Analytics & Improvements then turn off "Improve Siri & Dictation."
  3. To request a copy of whatever Apple has stored: go to privacy.apple.com, sign in, and choose "Request a copy of your data." Expect metadata, not audio.
Time: 15 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: The one you already have
🍅
Tomato · Some Work

Change your router password from the factory default

The factory default password is usually printed on the side of your router. Those defaults are published online. Anyone who can guess it can change your network settings, see your traffic, or add devices. Replace it with something only you know.

How to do it
  1. Find your router. Look for an IP address on the sticker (usually 192.168.1.1 or 192.168.0.1). Type it into your browser.
  2. Log in with the default admin username and password (also on the sticker).
  3. Find "Admin Password" or "Router Password" in the settings. This is separate from your wifi password.
  4. Set a new one. Write it down somewhere safe. Not on the router itself.
  5. While you are in there, update the router firmware too if you see the option.
Time: 15 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: Router admin login
🥬
Asparagus · Harder

Set up a guest wifi network

Everything on your main wifi network can theoretically see everything else on that network. A guest network gives visitors and internet-connected devices (smart TVs, thermostats, cameras, doorbells) a separate lane so they cannot reach your laptop or phone. It is the single biggest architectural improvement you can make to your home network.

How to do it
  1. Log into your router (same way as the password change above).
  2. Look for "Guest Network" or "Guest Wi-Fi." Most modern routers have it built in.
  3. Turn it on. Give it a name (e.g., "YourName-Guest") and its own password.
  4. Move all your smart home devices onto the guest network. Keep your laptop and phone on the main one.
  5. Give visitors the guest password only.
Time: 30-45 minutes (reconnecting devices takes the longest) Cost: Free Account needed: Router admin login
Row 3

Your Phone

The device that is with you all day. The row where one good habit (the marigold) defuses most of what can hurt you.

🌼
Marigold · Easy

Pause, hang up, call back

If your "bank" calls about a fraudulent charge, or your "grandchild" calls from jail, or anyone calls you with sudden urgency asking for money or information: do not stay on the line. Hang up. Look up the real number yourself. Call them back. Caller ID can be faked. A number you already have cannot. This one rule defuses the vast majority of phone scams.

The habit
  1. When an unexpected call asks for money, information, or urgency, say "Let me call you back."
  2. Hang up the phone.
  3. Find the real number yourself. On the back of your credit card. On the company's official website. In your contacts.
  4. Dial that number. Ask whether anyone there actually called you.
Time: 30 seconds to learn Cost: Free Account needed: None
🍅
Tomato · Some Work

Turn on call screening

Most junk calls are automated dialers. Most of them hang up the second they hit any friction. Call screening puts an automated speed bump between them and you: your phone asks who they are and why they are calling before it rings. Real humans (your doctor's office, a neighbor) will answer. Bots usually drop the call immediately.

iPhone
  1. Open Settings then Apps then Phone.
  2. Tap Screen Unknown Callers.
  3. Select Ask Reason for Calling.
  4. From now on, unknown callers have to state their name and reason before your phone rings.
Android / Google Pixel
  1. Open the Phone app, tap the three dots, then Settings then Call Screen.
  2. Turn on "Automatically screen unknown callers."
  3. Google Assistant picks up for you and asks who is calling.
Time: 5 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: None
🥬
Asparagus · Harder

Turn on two-factor authentication (2FA)

2FA is the thing where a service texts you a code after you type your password, or asks you to tap a button in an app. It is a little annoying the first time you set it up. It is also the single biggest thing you can do to stop account break-ins. Even if a scammer has your password, they cannot get in without your phone.

How to do it
  1. Start with email. Go to your email provider's security settings (Gmail: myaccount.google.com/security). Find "2-Step Verification" and turn it on.
  2. Choose text message as the first method. Later, if you feel ready, upgrade to an authenticator app (Authy, Google Authenticator). Apps are more secure than text messages.
  3. Repeat for your bank, your Social Security account, and any other account that holds money or personal records.
  4. Save the "backup codes" each service gives you somewhere safe. In case your phone gets lost or replaced.
Time: 30 minutes for the top five accounts Cost: Free Account needed: The ones you already have
Row 4

Your AI Tools

The row where the script flips. The best defense against AI is familiarity with AI. You are not cheating. You are fighting fire with fire.

🌼
Marigold · Easy

Ask AI "is this a scam?"

Language models are unusually good at spotting other language models' writing. If a text, email, or voicemail feels off, ChatGPT or Claude can usually tell you why within seconds. Takes one to know one.

How to do it
  1. Open ChatGPT or Claude in your browser or phone app. Both have free tiers.
  2. Copy the suspicious message word for word. (If it is a voicemail, transcribe it first, or describe what you heard.)
  3. Paste it in and type: "Is this a scam? Why or why not? What should I watch for?"
  4. Read the answer. If it flags anything, trust it. When in doubt, do nothing.
Time: 2 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: Free account at either
🍅
Tomato · Some Work

Paid account with data sharing turned off

Free AI tiers generally train on your conversations. Paid tiers, once you flip one switch, do not. About $20/month per service. This is the move if you are starting to use AI for anything personal: your finances, a medical question, a draft letter to your lawyer, a family matter.

ChatGPT
  1. Upgrade to ChatGPT Plus at chatgpt.com (~$20/month).
  2. Go to Settings then Data Controls.
  3. Turn off "Improve the model for everyone."
Claude
  1. Upgrade to Claude Pro at claude.ai/upgrade (~$20/month).
  2. Go to Settings then Privacy.
  3. Confirm "Help improve Claude" is off. (Off by default on paid.)
Time: 15 minutes Cost: ~$20/month Account needed: Yes, paid
🥬
Asparagus · Harder

Make AI a daily tool

You cannot defend against a tool you refuse to understand. The people who understand AI best a year from now will be the ones who used it the most, not the ones who avoided it. Pick one. Learn it well. Use it for real questions in your life.

How to do it
  1. Pick one tool and stick with it for a month. ChatGPT or Claude. Do not try to learn three.
  2. Ask it a real question today. Something in your actual life, not a test. A draft letter. A recipe modification for a grandchild's allergies. A summary of a long article. A second opinion on something your doctor told you.
  3. Notice what it gets right. Notice what it gets wrong. Trust your judgment over the machine.
  4. Use it again tomorrow. And the day after. Familiarity is the goal.
Time: 10 minutes a day for a month Cost: Free (or ~$20/month for paid) Account needed: Yes
Row 5

Your Community

The most important row. AI literacy spreads through communities, not through experts. One conversation you have tonight can protect a whole family tree.

🌼
Marigold · Easy

Tell one family member what you learned

Knowledge shared is knowledge multiplied. One conversation with a spouse, a child, or a grandchild about the family password (or call screening, or any of this) can protect your whole family tree. This is the highest-leverage ten minutes on the page.

How to do it
  1. Pick one person in your family who should know what you just learned.
  2. Pick one thing from this guide. The verbal family password is the best starter. Everyone can do it. Everyone benefits.
  3. Say it out loud to them tonight: "I was at a talk today and I learned something. Can we pick a family code word right now?"
Time: 10 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: None
🍅
Tomato · Some Work

Send a note to your state legislator

Legislators count constituent contacts. A handful of notes from real voters often moves a topic higher on an agenda than the testimony of paid lobbyists. You do not need to be an expert. You need to be a voter.

Minnesota (same idea works in any state)
  1. Go to leg.mn.gov.
  2. Click "Who Represents Me?" and enter your address.
  3. Find your state senator and state representative. Click the envelope icon or "Contact."
  4. Write three to five sentences. Example: "I am your constituent in [town]. I care about AI safety and data privacy. Please pay attention to bills that protect older Minnesotans from deepfake scams and data broker abuse. Thank you."
  5. Send. Bookmark the page. Do it again in six months.
Time: 15 minutes Cost: Free Account needed: None
🥬
Asparagus · Harder

Bring it to your next club meeting

Your book club, your church group, your neighborhood association, your garden club. If you ask for ten minutes on the agenda and share one thing from today, you become a multiplier. You are reading this page because someone in your community invited you into a conversation about it. Be that person for someone else.

How to do it
  1. Pick a group you are already part of. Any group.
  2. Email whoever runs the agenda: "Could I have ten minutes at our next meeting? I want to share something I learned about personal AI safety."
  3. Bring a printout of this page. Walk them through one or two things you did yourself. Real experience is more persuasive than advice.
  4. Leave the URL on the whiteboard: paramis.ai/safety-guide.
Time: 30 min prep + 10 min talking Cost: Free Account needed: Your seat at the table

"You are not behind. You are on time."

From the Garden Club talk, April 16, 2026

Pick one from each row. Do it this week.

Not all fifteen. Five. The rest of the page does the rest.

Row 1 · Identity

  • Pick a verbal family password
  • Freeze credit at 3 bureaus
  • Sign up for DeleteMe

Row 2 · Home

  • Review smart speaker history
  • Change router password
  • Set up guest wifi

Row 3 · Phone

  • Practice "pause, hang up, call back"
  • Turn on call screening
  • Turn on 2FA for email and bank

Row 4 · AI Tools

  • Ask AI "is this a scam?"
  • Paid account + data sharing off
  • Use AI daily for a month

Row 5 · Community

  • Tell one family member
  • Note to state legislator
  • Bring to next club meeting

This week

  • Pick one item from each row above
  • Block 30 minutes on your calendar
  • Do them. Cross them off.

If this page saved you from one bad moment, that is the whole point.

Questions? Email contact@paramis.ai. Want the backstory on the talk this came from? The Field Notes have more.